Eric!!!!!!

Subject: Eric!!!!!! Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:47 pm

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

The Juicer Incident of ’08

Current mood: fascinated

Category: Blogging

There
I was...the year was 2008...and I was the ripe age of 24 (yes, that's
right, from now I'm shaving off a few years, so sue me). October 7th,
2008...a day that will forever more be known as the day of the Juicer
Incident of '08. First, let me give you some quick backstory. Earlier
this year, my buddy got me tix to see The Montel Williams Show (he was
a producer on the show). As it so turned out, I didn't go to any ole
Monty episode...I went to the mother of all free giveaway episodes!
Everyone in attendance was gifted all sorts of nifty (and some
not-so-nifty) items. Sure, there were some rather big ticket things,
but the one that excited me the most was...THE JUICER.

Now back
to the present, I have had a hankering to use my Montel Williams'
gifted Juicer for quite some time, but had not gotten around to it. The
timing was never right. I had to wait for the perfect moment, in order
to make it as glorious as I had always dreamed of. As a constant
reminder of my need and desire to juice something, we have had a dry
erase note in the kitchen about it for ages...additionally, my
brother/roomie has had a "to do" reminder about it in his phone for
months on end.

Well, last night was finally the night. We were
going to juice something. So I went to our local Gristede's (not known
for its great produce selection) and tried to find something that looks
worthy of juicing. Surprisingly, I find an intriguing, unrecognizable,
unlabeled, appetizing-looking fruit that I figured must be a papaya or
pomegranate or guava or some such thing - I've always loved a nice
glass of Hawaiian Punch, so these seemed ideal. I paired the mystery
fruit with some plums and nectarines (because what fun would juicing an
apple or orange be), and bring it on home.

Now, juicing is
serious stuff...plus, this is months in the making...so this is kind of
a big deal. Yet, naturally we didn't take the time to read the
instructions. Please note, putting pits into a juicer makes it nearly
catch fire. Furthermore, my brother could barely contain his excitement
and in turn, wildly overturned and spilled a full can of Diet Coke.
Spilling is ALWAYS funny. So is people falling down. But, I digress.
Back to the juicing.

So I'm reveling in this whole experience,
but after a few minutes of prep work, my hands started feeling rather
strange. I didn't think much of it. More peeling and playing with my
food. A few minutes later though, my hands were in definite
pain...figured maybe I was having an allergic reaction to the mystery
fruit...after all, I am more or less allergic to every food in the free
world. But please, do you honestly think I would let a little
discomfort get in the way of my juicing - what do you take me for?

However,
try as I may to ignore it, it increasingly felt like I either had lots
of paper cuts or splinters. In fact, I thought it may have appeared
that there were some odd things on my hand, although I figured I was
hallucinating from the excitement of finally juicing something. But now
curiosity was starting to get the better of me. So we researched all
the fruits we thought it might
be....papaya...NO...pomegranate...NO...guava...NO... none of them were
a match. Hmm. What was this mystery fruit whose nectar I was about to
consume? More research yielded nothing. I was at a complete loss. Wait!
The receipt! And just like that...I had oh so very many answers...

PRICKLY CACTUS PEAR!

Say
what? Never heard of it! But suddenly everything started becoming a
whole lot clearer. A quick search of the internet told the tale...

"do not handle these with your bare hands...may cause infection...allergic reactions..."

Hahaha.
Whoops. Evidently there are "glochids" on said fruit (much like regular
cactii) that are very, very small sharp hair-like things that get
embedded in your skin and are impossible to get out! I mean, who does
this? Who does this happen to? LOL. And since when does my tiny,
neighborhood supermarket sell exotic fruit of death?!? A "DANGER" sign
would have been appreciated!

More research that basically
amounts to the following - "you're screwed!" The ultra scientific
suggestions for removal from your skin include - let glue dry on your
hand and then peel it off, use duct tape to do the same, and use a
magnifying glass. Hahaha. WTF?!?

They are so small you can't
really see them and only know where they are because it hurts when that
area touches something. So, I'm still finding them. All night long and
all day today. I am a human cactus! I simultaneously am overjoyed and
so very saddened. After all, we had included the evil mystery fruit
peel in the juicing process, so we were then afraid to drink the juice
for fear of stabbing our intestines. That's right, after months of
anticipation...I used my cactus-filled hand to pour the juice right
down the drain.

Sure, I'll probably live to juice again
(cactus glochids permitting)...but I'll never have my first time back.
Yet another cautionary tale to think of before losing your juicing
virginity.

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Subject: Re: Eric!!!!!! Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:12 am

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Eric comes out from under a rock to bring the random...
Category: Blogging

- I am not the petite man you all once knew me to be. I have gained a legit 25-30 pounds since BB. On Saturday, it was the first shorts-wearing weather of the year. So I proudly marched myself over to my drawers to put on some of my trusty shorts. They did not fit me. Not even close. It required an intricate lever and pulley system to even seal them. And once they were closed, they was tighter than a girdle. If I kept them on, I was running the risk of serious injury to my lower abdomen/internal organs/bladder. So I did what any middle aged woman circa 1997 would do in that situation…a Tae Bo workout. I have this old VHS tape of Billy Blanks going to town on some Tae Bo action, so in it went. It wasn’t pretty.

- I've had the pleasure of going to the new Yankee Stadium twice already. I am a bit of a purist and traditionalist when it comes to this stuff, so I wasn't sure how I'd respond to it...but it's really great. It's gorgeous, the amenities are fantastic, and there's an amazing energy and vibe all around the grounds. Every fan is so excited to be there...calling their friends, snapping photos, and smiling. And best of all, the field perspective of watching the game provides a very similar experience to the old park. They have truly captured the best of both worlds.

- For the first time since the Juicer Incident of '08...I juiced. And this time, it was glorious.

- Over Memorial Day weekend, I am heading own to FL for one of my close friend's wedding. But the kicker...I'm performing the ceremony. That's right...I am now Reverend/Minister/Officiant Stein. What an utterly ridiculous concept. I am sure to do something appalling and ruin their big day. So if anyone wants to be married by me, let me know, hahaha.

- I was very sad to lose a pal and a confidant in Bea Arthur. She was one of the first ladies of modern comedy as we know it. We'll always be bosom buddies. Thank you for being a friend. Yes, I am consciously trying to use as many Bea references as possible on this very Maude-lin day.

- So I'd be remiss to not speak about this swine flu lunacy, which is all the rage right now. We’ve survived bird flu, mad cow disease, SARS, and countless other alleged pandemics and amazingly, they all went away one week later. I mean, have you heard of anybody suffering from mad cow disease in the past 10 years? The media should be ashamed for how badly they are playing this up and the public should be ashamed for buying into it. First off, this is like a glorified flu. Secondly, one person has died from it thus far nationwide. Roughly 125 people per day die in the USA from car accidents. Does that mean you won’t drive your cars anymore? The people walking around with masks on their faces really deserve a swift kick to the balls. And then, they should all be punished with a case of swine flu. The deserve it. (please note, that this rant pretty much guarantees that I will succumb to swine flu by the week's end)

- Since Siegfried and Roy have officially had their farewell performance, I feel there is a void in the Las Vegas performance scene. Hence, I have formed a vaudeville act with Montecore the tiger. We are going into rehearsals immediately.

- I still haven't found that elusive bitch Carmen Sandiego. If you wanna see me mortify myself (which most of you do), go to youtube...you can find my appearance on Carmen Sandiego from a million years ago. Ironically, my boy NPH appears in my episode...who knew we'd be reunited at the Tanksgiving Day Parade 16 years later? Small world. Please re-read this paragraph, only this time pretend that it is being sung by Rockapella.

- Doing laundry is very taxing. I don't know how some people have the energy to do it daily for their entire families. I do it once every 6-8 weeks and it takes a lot out of me.

- I absolutely f'n love the NFL Draft! Love it! It is one of my favorite days of the year. And my Jets sure made things interesting this past weekend. While trading up for Sanchez would not have been my first choice, I am very pleased by their aggressive approach to getting the players that they targeted. Shonn Greene's power running will be the perfect future compliment to Leon Washington and in an ideal world, Sanchez can be our starting QB for the next 10-15 years. Knowing that they could have stayed put and drafted Maclin, Beanie, or Freeman...I would have stood pat at 17, but if Sanchez was their guy, they surely didn't have to give up too much to get him. I'm excited by the possibilities...but I'd describe my overall assessment as cautiously optimistic.

- My friends and I went to the circus. We were undoubtedly the only drunken adults, sans children in the entire establishment. I was deeply disappointed to find out that they no longer sell those fiber optic, light-up wands thingies. They had things like it - but it's not the same. Also, my cotton candy cost $12...but it came with a felt hat...so it was well worth it.

- For the first time ever The Amazing Race, Apprentice, and Survivor finales are all taking place in NYC over the same one week period. I smell some reality folk hijinks a-brewin'.

- This update on the life and times of young Eric Stein has been brought to you by the good people at Imodium.....helping you ride the wave 'til you reach your next roadside restroom.

Subject: Re: Eric!!!!!! Fri May 01, 2009 1:23 pm

Friday, May 01, 2009
MEET ERIC at the NY PREMIERE of THE MANDALA MAKER

*** ORDER YOUR TICKETS BEFORE MAY 8th for a chance to see me in my big screen debut. I will be in attendance, so come out and root me on and we will have a drink. All ticket orders prior to May 8th will help THE MANDALA MAKER become the featured short film on the opening night of the festival. Hence, for those of you who purchase prior to that date...I will throw in an autograph, a high five, a beer, or some such acknowledge of your contributions. Plus you'll get to meet me! Tix are cheaper than a regular movie and it enables you to see a bunch. Here's the scoop (check out all of our nominations...great stuff!)

Hellllllloooooo. If you remember, I was lucky enough to film a supporting role in a short film, "The Mandala Maker" written and directed by Sam Borowski. The amazing cast includes actors such as Daniel Roebuck ("Lost," "Matlock," "Halloween," "Nash Bridges"), Tony Award winner and Emmy nominee Terrence Mann, Yangzom Brauen ("Aeon Flux"), and yours truly.

Well great news to report! The New York Premiere of THE MANDALA MAKER has been announced and it comes in conjunction with a host of honors for the film. THE MANDALA MAKER received a whopping SIX NOMINATIONS yesterday during the 2009 SINY Film Festival Press Conference held at the Hilton Garden Inn in Corporate Park, Staten Island.

Nominated for BEST DRAMATIC SHORT (Producer Sam Borowski, Associate Producers Rob Pralgo, Robin Anne Phipps and Bryan Williams), which is akin to BEST PICTURE for features, it also garnered nominations for BEST SHORT SCREENPLAY (Sam Borowski and Gregory Nissen) and BEST S.I. LOCAL FILM. Additionally, it also was nominated for three awards normally held for feature films - BEST DIRECTOR (Sam Borowski), BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY (Bill Schweikart) and BEST ACTRESS (Courtney Hogan). With Audience Choice Awards and a special musical programbeing announced on awards night, there is a chance for THE MANDALA MAKER to snag even more awards.

If you would like to see THE MANDALA MAKER at the 2009 SINY Film Festival, it is playing Friday Night June 5, at 7 p.m. in the CSI Lecture Hall Theater and the next day, Saturday, June 6 at 5 p.m. in the CSI Williamson Theater.

To obtain tickets, simply go to:

http://www.ticketweb.com/snl/Search.action?query=staten+island+film+festival&y=9

Our block is Block 12 "Moving On," although it's not called that yet, but you will see it say :

Jun 5, 2009 at 8:00 PM EDT FILM BLOCK: Mandala Maker, SOS, Something about Ryan at College of Staten Island - Lecture Hall Theatre - Staten Island, NY $10.00

OR

Jun 6, 2009 at 5:00 PM EDT
FILM BLOCK: Mandala Maker, SOS, Something about Ryan
at CSI Williamson Theatre - Staten Island, NY
$10.00

Tix are just $10 for the entire block - They can either buy tix for the Friday night screening at 7 p.m. or the Saturday screening at 5 p.m.

Or call Ticket Web at: 1.866.468.7619

Subject: Re: Eric!!!!!! Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:17 pm

Tuesday, June 09, 2009
New article, film festival, appearances, and a thank you!
If you're a fan of "I'm a Celebrity..." then check out this bad boy. I give my thoughts on the cast and who I'd rather see playing the game.

http://www.realitywanted.com/newsitem/2004-week-one-im-a-fame-whore-get-me-airtime-aka-im-a-celebrity-get-me-outta-here

Also, really quickly, I just wanted to thank all of the fans who came to show their support at the film festival over the weekend. It was a lot of fun getting to talk to you guys. Special thanks goes out to Paul for his kickass present! You rock buddy. We took home the award for BEST SHORT SCREENPLAY and I was offered a role in another upcoming project by a director who saw the film. Good times.

Later in the week, I should have updates on 3 new events...we have some great charity work, some partying opportunities, and some BB stuff. And we are bringing the E. Stein show on the road, so hopefully I'll get to hang with some of you non-

Subject: Re: Eric!!!!!! Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:20 pm

Eric!!!!!! S_200e7873b74d4433a71e0818c29c8930

Eric from Big Brother 8went to the doctor today and found out that he is 21 lbs heavier than last year at this time. This makes him amused...and somewhat portly.17 hours ago
Mood:jolly

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