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 BB12 Ragan Fox

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Erika
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PostSubject: BB12 Ragan Fox   Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:38 am

Big Brother Cast - Ragan






Biography
Ragan

Name: Ragan Fox
Age: 34
Current Residence: West Hollywood, Calif.
Occupation: College Professor
Three adjectives that describe you: Funny, genuine, intelligent
Favorite Activities: Writing and performing poetry. My podcast is my biggest hobby. The show features my comedic take on pop culture and politics. I discuss everything on it.
What do you think will be the most difficult part about living inside the Big Brother house: There is a lot of fighting and I tend to hold a grudge.
Strategy for winning Big Brother: Don't rock the boat until I have to. Float until war is declared and the floaters align with strong players who are perceived to be bigger threats. Form a secret alliance about two weeks into the game. Don't win too many competitions but don't obviously throw them.
What types of people would you NOT choose to live with you in the house: Homophobes, 18-23 year-olds (the ages of students I teach), ultra conservatives
A recurring theme on Big Brother is "expect the unexpected." How would you handle "the unexpected:" I'd roll with the punches.
Which past Big Brother cast member did you like most or least: Most: Janelle, because what you saw is what you got. Least: Boogie. White rappers are too much of a paradox for me. And Chima, she was a poor sport and bad game player.
What are you afraid of: Heights, flying, homophobia
What is the accomplishment you are most proud of: I've had 2 poetry collections published: Heterophobia and Exile in Gayville
Finish this sentence: "My life's motto is:" The Golden Rule: Treat others how you want/expect to be treated.
Is there anything else you want to tell the audience about yourself: I love to make people laugh. In my world, there's nothing a well-placed fart joke can't cure. Humor is how I roll with the punches.
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:04 am

 

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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:30 pm

I do like his interview there. I don't know with him though... he might be one of the ones I usually start out liking/rooting for and then he'll do something completely idiotic in which case I will be pissed that I ever wanted him to win.
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Fri Jul 02, 2010 7:29 am

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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:39 pm

This guy is hilarious... he needs to stay a very long time in the house. I also see him laying low right now and as the weeks continue he will start emerging as a strong player maybe not physically but definitely strategically.
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:41 pm

He's my fave so far!
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:45 pm

They just showed him, Brendon and Matt on the feeds making fun of Natalie BB11 and it was so funny and then they switched all feeds to another group.... I hate when they move the feeds off a funny group to a group not talking anything interesting.
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:01 pm

Ragan's been great so far, surprisingly, and I wouldn't discount him in physical comps yet (though with competitors like Lane/Hayden/etc. they're in another league probably) because I thought he seemed to move quite adeptly through that caramel. I would have thought he'd have more trouble than Kathy or Britney.

At first I thought I'd hate him at first because he was being a caricature of himself in his pre-show interviews to the point of being completely off-putting. But he's much more laid back but hilarious in the house.

For some reason, though, either BB themselves think or they think the audience thinks that gay men come in one flavor only (and we all know what type that is). That's just disappointing in general. Kevin had some funny DRs but in the house I still didn't like his behavior or personality that much. Ragan I'm liking both in and out of the DR (still very early of course).
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:07 pm

I totally agree with you, I wouldn't discount him either in physical comps but when you have guys like Brendon, Hayden and Lane they are in a different type of league physically. But I do see him giving them a run for their money as not all physical comps are about brawn.

Between Ragan and Enzo you really can't watch them for too long without laughing.
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:20 am

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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:42 pm

As much as I like Ragan I am confused as to why he trusts Matt so much. C'mon some of Matt's actions he has to find highly questionable yet Ragan keeps trusting him so much. Maybe he is on to him but it sure doesn't appear that way.
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:34 pm

I think Ragan is by far my least favorite person this season. He is always crying about being bullied. Seriously Ragan, you're not the victim. He has to be one of the biggest hypocrites ever on the show. He talks about Rachel being classless, but anyone that reads his blog or listens to 10 seconds of his podcast knows that he has no class whatsoever. He is so fucking repulsing. The opening to his podcast is "eff me in that a-hole and give me a bj". That is classy? You're proud of that, Ragan? Talk about trash... finger
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:54 pm

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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:00 pm

leahtahd wrote:
I think Ragan is by far my least favorite person this season. He is always crying about being bullied. Seriously Ragan, you're not the victim. He has to be one of the biggest hypocrites ever on the show. He talks about Rachel being classless, but anyone that reads his blog or listens to 10 seconds of his podcast knows that he has no class whatsoever. He is so fucking repulsing. The opening to his podcast is "eff me in that a-hole and give me a bj". That is classy? You're proud of that, Ragan? Talk about trash... finger

Based on what we had in the house this season, I found him the most interesting. Is he a hypocrite? Perhaps! But he did not show the house the full Ragan Fox (personality). He definitely held back and I think he was very self aware of who he wanted to be in the BB house...with frequent comments about "I don't want to be portrayed as that gay guy..." IMO, he held himself back in the house and in the game, and I think Rachel definitely brought out the worst in him, as did Britney, but compared to his podcasts...his behavior in the house was very PG as opposed to X. One thing that bothered me the most was that he did try to squash any drama in that game, but unfortunately, he couldn't save himself when it came to Rachel and her antics. Rachel and Ragan were both lacking in the class department at times, but only they know the pressures of being in the BB house. sad1
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:55 am

Bringing Down the House
Gay Big Brother houseguest Ragan Fox talks about his first night out of the house, his desire to be nude, and how he still plans on winning the game.
By Scott McPherson

Being locked in a house with 12 strangers for 62 days is no easy task. For gay Big Brother houseguest Ragan Fox, it meant a continuing battle with Las Vegas cocktail waitress Rachel, and a “showmance” with Matt, the straight Web designer from Chicago, who eventually threw him under the bus. Though he came in fifth place (Hayden, the handsome college student from Arizona, was crowned the winner in the finale) he still left with a check in his pocket for $20K. Now, free from the public eye, Ragan discusses his first night out of the house, his desire to be nude, and how he still plans on winning the game of Big Brother.

The Advocate: Congratulations on winning $20,000 for successfully sabotaging the house for two weeks, and not a single person suspected it was you. What do you plan on doing with the money?
Ragan Fox: Thank you! I have been saying I was either gonna get a BMW or a hybrid because I’m a ball of contradiction, and then I thought maybe I’ll get new living room furniture. Now I’m channeling my inner Suze Orman and thinking maybe I should apply this to my debt or student loans.

Some of the houseguests included an Italian from Jersey, a Texas oil rig salesman, and an Orthodox Jew from Miami. Living with such a diverse group of people from all over the country with different backgrounds and religions, was there any awkwardness or unease with the other houseguests regarding your sexuality that we may not have seen on TV?
Not at all, everyone was great. They never turned it into an issue. No one made me feel like the “gay guy” in the house. The only person who ever came at me and that I interpreted as homophobic was Rachel.

Well, I have to ask you about that memorable argument with Rachel (video below). She said things to you like, “You’re not even good at being gay,” “Do you have to be the biggest bitch because you’re gay?” and to “Go grab your tiara and be a fucking queen.”
Yeah, those are the three things that made it to the CBS show, but there were actually a string of other homophobic comments that she made, where basically in the heat of an argument, things would always come back to me being gay.

Well, it ended up making Rachel this season’s “love to hate” villain. Which I guess makes you a hero for the way you stood up to her. In an interview after the finale she claims she tried to reach out and apologize, and that she was going to write you an apology letter. Do you think you’ll ever forgive her?
There’s just an issue with sincerity when it comes to her apology. I’m always willing to accept them, but I do it from a cautious place and from a place of a bit of cynicism. ’Cause if someone apologizes to you repeatedly for their behavior but does nothing to correct their behavior, it becomes very difficult to accept that person’s apology.

Enzo cast the deciding vote on Wednesday’s finale (video below). You have some history with him in your last veto competition, where you lost in the final round, which we’ll call the “Battle for the Brendrew.” How do you think the game would have changed if you beat Enzo?
I think that I would have won the game. It’s not to take away from how intelligent I think the final four were. I just really studied my butt off in the last couple of weeks in the house. I was spending at least five hours a day in seclusion, studying. And I knew if it came down to any competition that involved house knowledge, a puzzle, or an endurance competition, that I would be almost unbeatable. Now, having said that, when we saw the DV on how Hayden performed in the final four competitions, I was really impressed. I think he would have given me a run for my money and perhaps would have beaten me. To me, what would have been more compelling, actually, is not if I would have won the competition, but if Britney would have done more campaigning for me to get Lane to flip his vote and we broke up the Brigade Alliance and ending up becoming an alliance of three.

You eventually ended up being on the chopping block next to Hayden, who ultimately won. In your farewell video he said, “You represent the gay community well. Young gay kids can look up to you as a good role model.” With everything going on in the gay rights movement this year, how did it feel to know you were the face of the gay community within the Big Brother house?
I’ve seen what’s been written every time a cast of Big Brother is released, because I’m a big fan of the show, and I know that anytime a gay guy is cast there is this burden of representation that is thrust upon the gay character that season. It happened with Kevin, with Steven, Bunky, and Marcellas. So I was aware that that would be out there, and I didn’t want to perpetuate any stereotypes of gay men. I went into the house thinking, OK, I don’t want to be the gay guy who cries all the time. And at the same time I had to be myself as well, so I ended being the gay guy towards the end of the game that cried a lot and I was like, Oh, great, I’m sure so many gay men are looking at me cringing, thinking why does he have to do that? I am who I am, so I think there’s always a fine line one has to walk when they’re a gay character on Big Brother — between being a representative from the gay community and being myself. I’ve only seen the first three episodes, but when Annie came out to me [as bisexual], my friends were giving me shit for saying, “You’ve just given me such a big gift.” And I was getting emotional when she was coming out. It’s very difficult to understand until you’re put in that situation. For me, I just spent a week in that house where every conversation and action was so centered around heterosexuality. People spent the first week in the house talking about potential romances and who was gonna hook up with who. And I could never be a part of that conversation. Because there was no opportunity for a “showmance.”

If the producers wanted you to compete in an All-Stars season, would you do it?
Yeah! If you asked me right now I’d be like, “I’d have to think about it.” But I’m sure in two years’ time if I got a call from the studio saying, “We’d love to have you for All-Stars,” I wouldn’t even think about it, I’d be like “Absolutely.” I’d play very differently, but I wanna win this game.

We need a gay winner.
I know! Kevin came so close last season, and I really thought that I had a good shot at doing it, but the odds were stacked against me.

With all eyes on you for 24/7 for 62 days and then being sequestered to the jury house until the finale, what was the first thing you wanted to do when you got home?
I wanted to be nude. I got so used to never being able to be nude. I also wanted to go out with my friends to a dark bar, where I would have a little bit of anonymity, and drink a rum and coke. And I wanted to listen to Hole. That’s all I needed. And that’s what I did. I actually took [my fellow houseguest] Matt and his wife, Stacy, to a gay bar called Fubar in West Hollywood the night after the finale. It was great to have my “showmance” and his wife with me.

Did you have a lot of fans come up to you at the bar?
Yeah, they announced over the loudspeaker that “Ragan and Matt from Big Brother 12 are here” and a number of people came up and they were awesome. The response I’ve had in West Hollywood has been very kind and generous, and quite frankly very humbling.

Speaking of Matt, I read in another interview that you plan on attending his Halloween party in Chicago next month. Are you two going to dress up as Rachel again? You both looked great in red hair extensions (pictured at right).
[Laughs] I think that we’ll be different segments of the human centipede. I think that’s what our costume is going to be. Then it will be perfect because we’ll get to be mouth to butt — our goal all season long.

Wow! That sounds ... good. [Laughs] I wish I had a segue for that, but I’m having a hard time coming up with one. So, jumping to the next question. You’ve officially established “gaylebrity” status,while being a communications professor at Cal State Long Beach, and you begin teaching classes this week. Do you think competing on this show will affect your curriculum? Any chance of Big Brother 101?
I don’t know that it will necessarily affect my curriculum. In every class that I teach I’ve always included a section on gay and lesbian history and queer theory. That’s been something that I’ve done ever since I started teaching. If anything, I think it will be strange for my students. I think this generation of current undergraduates have a different experience than my own, just with how open-minded they are. There are still people who can't deal with the fact that their professor is gay, but when they see them on TV talking about being gay or other people talking about them being gay, suddenly it becomes a different kind of issue. And even some of the response that I’ve heard is people saying that I talk about having sex all the time. That is very surprising to me. I haven’t had sex since February. So it’s interesting to me how someone who is gay can talk about not having sex and that can become very sexualized. But hearing straight people talk about sex all the time, in graphic detail, is never this big issue. So I think it will be interesting to see how these dynamics play out at school.

I’m curious, and I know many other viewers are too — what does that tattoo on your forearm say?
It says in French, “Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave.”

You have a podcast called Fox and the City that I’m sure you’re excited to get back to. You talked a lot about pop culture and would even joke about celebrities such as Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. How did you react to everything that went on with them this summer while you were locked in the house?
[Laughs] She was arrested, right?

You have missed out! Yes, she went to jail and rehab and recently tested positive for drugs in a random drug test.
And I heard Hilton was caught with cocaine and she claimed it was gum? These are the moments that make my life worth living. I have a pile of poo I have to dig myself out from under before I can sit down and do a new show, so we’ll see what happens. I imagine, because people are probably curious about the Big Brother experience, I probably won’t go back to the regular format immediately. The first couple episodes I might have people from my season, and you can expect to hear from Matt. When I get my bearings I’ll go back to doing the regular show.

Earlier you seemed very caught up on your Big Brother knowledge. So lastly, because you’re a professor I wanted to end this interview with a Big Brother Gay History Pop Quiz. You are the 11th openly gay houseguest. Which two seasons did not have a gay or lesbian houseguest?
I’m gonna say 2 and 4.

Close! The answer is 1 and 4. Two had Bunky Miller.
Bunky! That’s right! The guy with the hair on his back.

http://www.advocate.com/Arts_and_Entertainment/Television/Big_Brother_Bringing_Down_the_House/



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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Wed Sep 22, 2010 2:11 am


RaganFox Ragan Fox



Doin' the gremlin: Rag, Kristen, Matt, and Stacy. http://twitpic.com/2qsgis





RaganFox Ragan Fox



Feed the 'pede! http://plixi.com/p/46451951


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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Wed Sep 29, 2010 6:02 pm

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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:22 am

More FAQs

Posted on October 3, 2010 by ragan| Leave a comment

What does the tattoo on your arm say?
Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave. It’s in French, ‘cuz everything’s fancier in French. French fries. French kissing. Everything.
What advice would you give to aspiring BB houseguests as they begin the audition process?
First, be nothing more or less than who you are each and every day of your life. Don’t go into an open casting as an “on” version of yourself. Avoid gimmicks, look-at-me clothes, and comedy routines. Second, emphasize what makes you unique and unlike any player in BB history. I, for example, talked about being a professor, because, until I was cast, BB had never featured a college professor. Third, if you make it to semis or finals, be observant. Locate your competition and be able to discuss who you think looks cool and who looks like a d-bag. If you don’t make it on 13, keep trying. Never stop pushing. (That’s what she said.)
What bits of news most surprised you after you returned to the real world?
I was shocked and elated to hear that Proposition 8 was overturned. No, Gremlin (aka Matt Hoffman), Proposition 8 isn’t what “gave gays the right to vote.” Ha! Click here to check out my initial thoughts on Proposition 8 the day California voters opted to eliminate the marriage rights of gay California citizens.
On a more whimsical note, I was over-the-moon happy to hear that my favorite artist Liz Phair released a new album called FunStyle. (FYI, the aforementioned tattoo on my arm is a Liz Phair lyric.) My favorite songs on the new album are “Satisfied,” “Bollywood,” and “And He Slayed Her.” Check out “Bollywood”:

I was also surprised to see how much our season invaded other facets of pop culture. Matt was talked about on The View, which is one of my favorite shows. My favorite response to The View’s discussion of Matt’s lie comes from a YouTube user named “WSWillett,” who said, “I think Whoopi has Ugly Facetosis and Predatorhairatosis.” Many (if not all) of the houseguests made “The Soup.” A clip of Brit was featured at this year’s Emmy Awards. Hell, I was trending topic of Twitter! A great paradox of BB is that, while the show’s being taped, the houseguests are closest to the action but furthest away from the implications of said action.


Can we be friends on FaceBook?
FaceBook only allows individual users to have 5000 friends & I’m at my limit. (Said in my best SNL Penelope voice: “I actually have 5001 friends on FB, so it’s just a little more over the limit than you.”) I’m active on my FB fan page, where there is NO friend limit and I answer questions and post updates and pictures. I’m also SUPER active on Twitter. Feel free to follow me on Twitter or click here to “like”/follow me on FB. Be forewarned, my FB updates are not suitable for children, or adults.

Which houseguest do you still talk to?
Matt and I talk on the phone and/or text almost every day. I’m also in regular contact with Britney, Kristen, Annie, and Kathy.

Do you hate Rachel?
Rachel and I exchanged nasty words in the house, but I don’t hate Rachel. The game’s over, and I wish her nothing but the best. I regret my involvement in our feud and wish I could take back all the nasty things I said about and to Rachel and Brendon. The funny thing about BB is that it bonds everyone involved, from best friends in the house to bitter enemies. Rachel, like every person in that house, is like family to me. As I slowly make my way through watching season 12, I’m grateful that Rachel was in the house; she’s f’ing awesome TV. “Nobody gets between me and my ma-yun,” is one of my new favorite phrases.
I loved you on the show! Why are you so f’ing awesome?
Thank you! I don’t take any of the hate personally but definitely prefer love and all things Team Ragan. Although I definitely got on a high horse in the house and shed my fair share of tears, I don’t take any of this too seriously. I am under no illusions/delusions that BB will catapult me into the pages of People or US Weekly. I appreciate each and every person who approaches me and asks me about the show, wants to take a photo, and/or has something kind to say.

Why are you such a vile, disgusting human being, both inside (personality) and out (looks)?
Blame my parents and God for the way I look. Each morning, I wake up, look in the mirror, and repeat the following line 100 times, “Face, be prettier. Body, be hotter. Be less vile and disgusting on the outside.” This refrain isn’t working…yet, but I believe in the self-fulfilling powers of The Secret and remain hopeful that divine forces will make me better looking. I’m vile and disgusting on the inside, ‘cuz nothing but hate and cheap vodka pump through my veins.

Why are you so f’ing gay?
Believe it or not, I could be gayer. I could have a name like Jayden. My favorite movie could be the sequel to The Princess Diaries. I could watch Project Runway “for the fashion.” I’m pretty f’ing gay, but don’t watch any shows on Logo, nor have I even been on a date with a man in 8 months.

I wrote you an email and haven’t heard back from you. Are you ever going to respond, a-hole?
I’ll get to it. I promise! It’s gonna’ take me a few months to work my way through my inbox but I’ll read and hopefully respond to every email I’ve received. That said, I prefer to talk via Twitter or FB. I’d like to reserve my email for all things work and business-related.

http://ragan.wordpress.com/2010/10/03/more-faqs/
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:32 pm

WOW! I just listened to the Joker's Radio Chat with Ragan and there was a caller that called up and said that he really didn't have much of an opinion about Ragan in the beginning of the game, but later thought of Ragan as an ASS towards the end and when he was evicted from the house. I have heard this caller before on other shows and he just sounds like a bitter old man that barks out his opinion and could not give two shits about what the other person thinks nor allows the person to respond to what he just said. I have always found the Joker Radio shows more on the serious side, whereas on the BBAD Radio show, it is OK to laugh!! But this caller was really out of line. The prick didn't have the decency to stay online to listen to Ragan's response, merely giving a deep sigh and hanging up the phone as Ragan was responding to the caller's accusations! I don't understand people like that at all! The caller made some sort of point that once the show is over he has moved on and it's on to the next season or some crap like that. Why the f**k are you calling? bitch bitch bitch soapbox:

As fun as these post interview radio chats are, they get monotonous at some point (BBAD Radio knows how to keep it fresh, but I'm biased!), and there are only so many different ways to ask the houseguest about their BB experience. I must say for this past season, the HGs have been very gracious with their time doing all these interviews and reaching out to their fans...and I guess their haters too! neutral
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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:40 am

Quote :
As fun as these post interview radio chats are, they get monotonous at some point


so true Lloyd! There is only so much you can say and discuss with the HGs before it just becomes uninteresting. Its not to say that the HG themselves become uninteresting but like you said, its hard to keep it fresh. Thats why Erika and I usually continue with the show for about 4-6 weeks after the season finale and then like all good BB fans, we wait for the next season. lol

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PostSubject: Re: BB12 Ragan Fox   Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:02 pm


2010: An Interactive Retrospectivus

Posted on December 20, 2010 by ragan| Leave a comment



Check out the linked text to explore specific themes in more detail.
Was the year too fast or too long: This was one of the fastest years of my life.
Major Events: The death of my good friend Gabrielle Bouliane; and competing in Big Brother 12.

Biggest accomplishment: Going through one of reality TV’s most intense and competitive casting processes and never being anything more or less than I am every day of my life. I never provided the answers I thought casting and production wanted to hear and remained true to myself throughout the entire experience. I list this as my biggest accomplishment of the year, because, 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do the show and be my authentic self. That sounds so gay (and by “gay,” I mean awesome), but it’s the truth. I left the house relatively unaffected by the traps of pseudo-fame and more self-aware. Best (and worst) of all, BB audience members responded to my character. Going into the house, I knew that most viewers would either love or hate me. I’ve always been a polarizing figure, so I anticipated and was prepared for the overwhelming love and hate that awaited me after finale night. That said, I was shocked to learn that my eviction episode was, by far, the highest rated of the season and one of the highest rated episodes in the program’s 11-year history.
Biggest failure: Going into 2010, my #2 goal of the year was to stop self-sabotaging my love life. I even created a tongue-in-cheek online dating application. For various reasons, 2010 ended up being a total bust in the romance department. But the year’s not over yet and I have high hopes for 2011. If Atlanta housewife Phaedra Faildra can land Apollo, I can find a good man.
Biggest regret: I was too inhibited in the Big Brother house. I held WAY BACK in the diary room and wish I would have unleashed Fox and the City Ragan in my diary room segments.
Best memory: My favorite memory’s the night Dave Miraglia, Peter Bracke, and I attended the Hole concert and then went back to Dave’s home in the hills. Courtney Love, hot tub shenanigans, and a dirty, dirty round of Chat Roulette; oh my! My other great memories are best encapsulated in the following Matt, Ragan, and Britney video tribute:





Worst memory: My worst memory of the year took place directly after Rachel and I argued in the jury house. I just learned that Matt had been lying about Stacy and felt utterly alone. I spent an hour outside reading the HoH letter my Mom wrote me. Curious to see what an HoH letter looks like? See below. I was, in every sense of the word, heartbroken. At that point, I knew I had to make a choice. I could either continue to resent Matt and be miserable for my two-week stay in the jury house, or I could forgive him. I obviously opted for the latter. Carrie Fisher said it best when she argued that, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

(Click on the letter to make it larger. That’s what she said.)
Most prideful moment: I had a LOT of scholarship published in Text and Performance Quarterly (TPQ) this year. TPQ is my discipline’s flagship journal in Performance Studies. This year, I had the volume’s first lead article (“Re-membering Daddy”), an essay in the second issue, and was the focus of the last issue’s performance space forum. My TPQ run ends with 2011’s first issue, where my former student Kashif is the focus on the performance space forum and I contribute a piece that contextualizes the political implications of his work. In total, I had five essays featured in five issues of TPQ. I was also named to the journal’s editorial board.
Most embarrassing moment: I’m embarrassed by how much I cried in the Big Brother house. Entering the house, I didn’t want to be the gay guy who cried all the time; but, in month two, my emotions got the best of me. I don’t fault myself for crying, because I had three good reasons to get emotional. First, with the exception of Matt, every houseguest cried when they were on the block and the house target. Annie, Monet, Andrew, Kristen, Rachel, Kathy, Brendon, and Britney cried when they knew the house was coming after them. Why did it seem like I cried more than everyone else? Because I was on the block AS THE TARGET three out of four consecutive eviction cycles. The one week in that four-week cycle that I wasn’t on the block, I knew that my best friend in the house was going home and also discovered that he threw me under the bus. You’ll notice that I rarely got emotional in the game’s first month. Second, my tears can be partially explained by straight-up starvation. I spent 24 days in the house as a have-not. 24 days was over 1/3rd of my stay in the house and the longest period anyone in BB12 endured have-not torture. For each of those 24 days, I consumed less than 500 calories; the average adult ingests 2000 calories a day. I lost over 20 pounds in the house, which is SIGNIFICANT weight loss for a man of my size. When I hear some people in fan forums minimize the impact of BB food restrictions, all I can do is laugh. For 24 days, consume slop, take cold showers, and sleep on broken pool loungers, and then tell me that being a have-not is immaterial. Unlike one of my other houseguests, I didn’t cheat my way through being a have-not. Finally, I spent a lot of time in the house thinking about my dad, who died in 2004. Since my father’s death, I’ve buried myself in work and play, so that I wouldn’t have to fully process his loss. Big Brother forced me to stand still and earnestly consider the absence of my father. My period of mourning started in the surfboard endurance challenge, where my fellow houseguests repeatedly referenced loved ones in the name of doing well in the competition. Matt endured for Stacy; Andrew for Gila; and so on. I stayed up on the surfboard for my father. Unlike Matt and Andrew, had I won, I wouldn’t have received a letter from my source of motivation. Immediately after the challenge, I became a have-not (for a second time); but this time I entered the have-not room for getting second place in an endurance competition. The punishment was designed to mentally fuck with us. I began connecting the dots between being a have-not in the house and being a have-not in my real life. When it comes to a father, I’m a have-not. In the first few weeks of the game, we discussed possible showmance and, given that I was the only gay guy, I was a have-not, in terms of in-house romantic possibilities. At my high school prom, I couldn’t bring somebody to whom I was attracted, making me a have-not. When it comes to equal rights in the U.S., I’m a have-not. I became incredibly introspective in the house and all this introspection caused me to get very emotional. I do not regret this introspection or emotionality, but my tears in large part embarrass me because our masculinist culture loves to deride men who cry, especially crying gay men. At the end of the day, this derision says more about rigid standards of masculinity than it does my character or strength. Sorry I just typed a dissertation about my crying. All this processing makes me think my tears should be more a source of pride than embarrassment. My tears were war wounds. For a great, scholarly reflection on my Big Brother tears, check out my colleague Ann Johnson’s blog entry on the topic.
Number of people slept with: Just one, I think. I fooled around with a few guys but only went “all the way” with one. I guess I really DO “suck at being gay.”
Started with a significant other: No.
Ended with a significant other: No.
Ending the year with more money, or less: Significantly more money. Thanks, America!
Best Friends: Mike Mount, Peter Bracke, and Matt Hoffman. That said, I feel so blessed to have formed so many outstanding, new friendships in the Big Brother house, particularly with Matt, Kristen, Britney, and Annie. Big ups to Mike and Peter, who took care of all my affairs while I was in the house. I also want to give a shout-out to my colleagues Sharon, Jess, Ann, Craig, Wendy, Christine, and Nancy, who had my back at work.

Biggest Enemy: Rachel Reilly. I feel strange naming Rachel as my biggest enemy of 2010, because, over the last few months, we’ve become pretty decent friends. During our stay in the Big Brother house, though, we were bitter enemies and delivered what many consider to be the definitive moment of season 12: Ragan and Rachel’s fight spectacular! The New York Post named our argument the best TV fight of the summer and, in a later article, listed our disagreement as one of the ten best quarrels in reality TV history.
Favorite TV Shows: Big Brother (for obvious reasons), Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of New York,and Bad Girls Club. I’m so sad that Damages has taken such a bad, boring turn. And, after several years, I’ve stuck a fork in Desperate Housewives; that show is DONE.
Favorite Movie: Black Swan, which is not only my favorite movie of the year but one of my all-time favorite films. I connected to this movie on just about every level. This film, to me, was all about how binaries (e.g., good and evil, rationality and madness, etc.) are contours, not opposites. I know all too well the tango between technical merit and “feeling it”; restraint and lust; light and dark; mind and body; and perfection and whimsy. This movie beautifully and theatrically rendered Socrates’ second speech in Plato’s Phaedrus.
Favorite Book: The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman
Favorite Bands/Singers: Hole
Favorite Purchase: iPad
Concerts: Hole at the Music Box Theatre in Hollywood.
Places Visited: Seattle, WA; Chicago/Elgin, IL; and San Diego, CA
Best Trip: Hands down, my trip to Chicago to visit Matt and Stacy for Hoff-o-ween was my favorite trip of the year.
Worst Trip: I didn’t really have a “bad” trip this year. San Diego’s probably the trip that fell the most flat, in terms of what I was expecting versus what it ended up being; but San Diego was still a good time.
Looking forward to in 2011: Being awarded tenure! I was going to go up in the fall of 2010 but my stint on the show inhibited my ability to go up early. I also look forward to the Reality Rally fundraiser, where I’ll be reunited with my husband and wife: Matt and Stacy.
Dreading in 2011: I dread putting together my tenure file but will be elated when it’s finally submitted.

http://ragan.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/2010-an-interactive-retrospectivus/
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