Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Enquirer Gives Michael Jackson Six Months To Live





Despite denials from Michael Jackson that he’s suffering from a lethal lung disease, the National Enquirer remains on “Whacko Jacko” death watch. Now their sources give the singer six months to live.
“His condition is just so far gone, I’d be surprised if he lasts six
months…Painkillers and booze have caught up with him. The only way he
was able to cope with the stress of sex scandals and his roller-coaster
life was to mask the pain with substance abuse.”
Jacko biographer Ian Halperin has confirmed their
source’s claims of emphysema and gastrointenstinal bleeding with his
source. “Michael wants to have the lung transplant, but because of
other illnesses he’s fighting, he’s too weak to undergo such a major
procedure. He’s taking one painkiller after another.” This would help
explain why he’s auctioning off his assets,
but then Jackson has been frail and cash-starved for years. Still, if
the reports are true, the King of Pop may not be around much longer.
[Photo: Splash News Online]